Category Archives: Infidelity

Dealing with marriage infidelity

Why people risk all for an affair

Texting is one way the other woman or man enters the family.

I work a lot with couples who are recovering from an infidelity. Inevitably the question comes up “How could he/she risk all that we’ve built together for an affair?” Many therapists immediately turn to the marriage/relationship for reasons to explain … Continue reading

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Healing After Infidelity

marriage and couples counseling services in sand diego ca

Building trust after an affair is one of the most daunting challenges a couple will ever face. Think of a relationship as a savings account. Every moment you spend together from the instant you meet, you’re making a deposit. Those … Continue reading

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Are Prescription Drugs The Answer?

getting over an affair and depression with medications

Recently a client who had struggled for months in her attempts to reign in the anger over her husband’s affair, reported a significant change in her feelings and behavior after starting an antidepressant. She told me that she felt she now … Continue reading

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Two Steps In The Affair Recovery Dance

help after discovering an affair

Even though I’ve worked with many couples to help them find a healing pathway after an affair, I recognize there is no foolproof measure for determining whether or not a marriage is going to “make it” in the end. There … Continue reading

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How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Hours

How to Save Your Marriage in 3 Hours

Saving your marriage doesn’t require long-term treatment. What brought you here were tiny fissures in your relationship that gradually spread into cracks. They formed so subtly, grew so slowly that they were almost imperceptible. But they’re obvious now. You haven’t … Continue reading

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Infidelity & Texting

Texting is one way the other woman or man enters the family.

Many couples struggle with infidelity. Affairs can happen at work, in bars, at school reunions, meetings and with your phone. Texting is one way the “other woman or man” enters the family. If trust is low, couples become aware of … Continue reading

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Affair Counseling

When a couple comes in for help after discovering an affair I try to be reassuring and calmly lay out the structure of what needs to happen to ‘get over’ this crisis. Couples need a path to visualize the end … Continue reading

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Attitudes on infidelity

It seems that our attitudes toward premarital sex and extramarital sex have an inverse relationship. The more we tolerate sexual activity before marriage, and people “getting it out of their system,” perhaps the less tolerant we become once one makes … Continue reading

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Three Outcomes after Infidelity

In my experience there are three basic patterns in the way couples reorganize themselves after an infidelity– 1. they never really get past the affair, 2. they pull themselves up by the bootstraps and let it go, or 3. they … Continue reading

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Too much counseling?

Often when couples come into therapy there is individual counseling going on at the same time. Or perhaps one partner is in need of working on assertiveness skills, or wanting to understand individual issues which leads them to cheat repeatedly. … Continue reading

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