Recently a client who had struggled for months in her attempts to reign in the anger over her husband’s affair, reported a significant change in her feelings and behavior after starting an antidepressant. She told me that she felt she now had the space to process her feelings and get perspective instead of feeling underwater in emotion.
I don’t believe that drugs are the answer to most emotional or relationship difficulties. Growth and change come about by learning to work through pain and difficulties, not avoiding them. But when circumstances become overwhelming and a person gets stuck in feelings of ongoing helplessness, the proper medication can allow them to regain some control.
I’ve heard the arguments against taking meds: I’ll lose control; I’ll just be avoiding the problem; I don’t want to become addicted; they’ll make me feel numb; strong people don’t need drugs; someone I know had a bad experience…
And the reasons go on. The fact is, there are medications today that were not available years ago and they are safe and helpful when properly prescribed and taken.
Medication may not be necessary but if has been several weeks since the discovery or disclosure of an affair and you still feel out of control when it comes to depression, anger, or anxiety, I encourage you to talk to a doctor about what might be helpful to you. It may take some time to find the right medication and dosage, but I cannot tell you how many people have said, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”