Category Archives: CouplesCare.net

“45 Years” A Film looks at separateness’ in marriage

I happened to see this sweet, thoughtful movie on a long plane journey titled “45 Years” It’s a story about a couple who have been married for 45 years and are weeks away from an anniversary party celebrating their marriage. … Continue reading

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Mothers and sex

getting over an affair and depression with medications

After marriage, for many women sex becomes an obligation rather than an expression of desire, love and affection. They lose track of their own desire and pleasure, and feel like sex has become “just another thing that I have to … Continue reading

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Stop Fighting with Relational Mindfulness

how to stop fighting with your partner

Many couples come in asking how to stop fighting. Often it’s described as a need for communication skills when it’s really that there is too much communication going on – and it’s not the listening part of the communication process! … Continue reading

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Looking at expectations

couples counseling online. Codependcy, relationships, marriage, cheating

Condensed and edited from Andrew Goldman’s interview with Rebecca Miller, Julianne Moore, Ethan Hawke and Greta Gerwig. Wall Street Journal. EH: I see people breaking up because they just have such extremely high expectations for every aspect of their life. … Continue reading

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Stuck in a no sex relationship?

Stuck in a no sex relationship? Lack of sexual desire

A good way to stay mired in a sexless relationship is keep talking about why sex is a problem and whose fault it is. Talking about why there is no sex doesn’t make people want sex. Talking about desire does … Continue reading

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Affair Counseling

When a couple comes in for help after discovering an affair I try to be reassuring and calmly lay out the structure of what needs to happen to ‘get over’ this crisis. Couples need a path to visualize the end … Continue reading

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Attitudes on infidelity

It seems that our attitudes toward premarital sex and extramarital sex have an inverse relationship. The more we tolerate sexual activity before marriage, and people “getting it out of their system,” perhaps the less tolerant we become once one makes … Continue reading

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Three Outcomes after Infidelity

In my experience there are three basic patterns in the way couples reorganize themselves after an infidelity– 1. they never really get past the affair, 2. they pull themselves up by the bootstraps and let it go, or 3. they … Continue reading

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A weekly sex prescription?

http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/11/health/sex-frequency-happiness-research/index.html Stories about sex and couples in relationship always capture my attention and this is a good one. One caveat is that there is no ‘normal’ in terms of how much sex a couple ‘should’ be having… however, since sex … Continue reading

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More about Boundaries 

All couples deal with boundaries: what is ok and what is not, what is individual, what is ours, and what is public. A relationship consists of roles and rules that we begin to enact at first meeting, so a couple … Continue reading

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