Category Archives: CouplesCare.net

Divorce from a child’s perspective

This is so poignant. A child asking her parents to be friends. She talks about wanting everyone to be steady, low, where her heart is. Such wisdom.

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Take personal responsibility for your relationship

Falling in love is a bit like losing yourself to somebody else. There is chemistry behind falling in love and it is shown that dopamine has a powerful impact on our brain and makes us feel like we are high … Continue reading

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What happens after being ‘in love’.

People usually nod their heads when considering the notion that the first and ‘in love’ stage of a relationship transitions to something else. Terry Real has said that this first stage is Love without Knowledge. Yikes ! How do you … Continue reading

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When baby makes 3

A new baby often results in a sexual dry spell for the parents that extends beyond the months it takes to recover from birth – in some cases, it can go years. But do children extinguish the flame of desire, or … Continue reading

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Using the CNI (Core Negative Image)

How to Break through your CNI We talked about an intimacy exercise where each partner writes down the core negative image of the other. Then he/she writes down what their core negative image is of themselves. Compare the two and … Continue reading

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Core Negative Images

  Personal growth doesn’t happen in a vacuum – it happens as we act in relationship to another. As Terry Real says, “Intimate connectedness is our birthright and optimal state. The cure for emotional problems is intimacy.” Even when I … Continue reading

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The Inevitable Stages of Relationships

I just attended a teleclass given by Terry Real where he described the three stages of a relationship as : IN LOVE also known as Love without Knowledge – That ‘in love’ feeling that can only come without the knowledge … Continue reading

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Mindfulness in relationships

mind·ful·ness ˈmīn(d)f(ə)lnəs/ noun noun: mindfulness 1. 
the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.”their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition” 2. 
a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and … Continue reading

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Being right or being married

I’m not the first therapist who talks to couples about the dangers of having to be right in a relationship. In fact there is a book by that title on Amazon that I just ran across. The consensus is that … Continue reading

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Simple co-dependency checklist

This term was first used to describe behaviors of care taking in a relationship where one partner has a substance use problem. It’s been broadened to describe a similar pattern in relationships without a substance issue. I like this simple … Continue reading

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