Category Archives: Infidelity
Dealing with marriage infidelity
Why people risk all for an affair
I work a lot with couples who are recovering from an infidelity. Inevitably the question comes up “How could he/she risk all that we’ve built together for an affair?” Many therapists immediately turn to the marriage/relationship for reasons to explain … Continue reading
Healing After Infidelity
Building trust after an affair is one of the most daunting challenges a couple will ever face. Think of a relationship as a savings account. Every moment you spend together from the instant you meet, you’re making a deposit. Those … Continue reading
Are Prescription Drugs The Answer?
Recently a client who had struggled for months in her attempts to reign in the anger over her husband’s affair, reported a significant change in her feelings and behavior after starting an antidepressant. She told me that she felt she now … Continue reading
Two Steps In The Affair Recovery Dance
Even though I’ve worked with many couples to help them find a healing pathway after an affair, I recognize there is no foolproof measure for determining whether or not a marriage is going to “make it” in the end. There … Continue reading
How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Hours
Saving your marriage doesn’t require long-term treatment. What brought you here were tiny fissures in your relationship that gradually spread into cracks. They formed so subtly, grew so slowly that they were almost imperceptible. But they’re obvious now. You haven’t … Continue reading
Infidelity & Texting
Many couples struggle with infidelity. Affairs can happen at work, in bars, at school reunions, meetings and with your phone. Texting is one way the “other woman or man” enters the family. If trust is low, couples become aware of … Continue reading
Affair Counseling
When a couple comes in for help after discovering an affair I try to be reassuring and calmly lay out the structure of what needs to happen to ‘get over’ this crisis. Couples need a path to visualize the end … Continue reading
Attitudes on infidelity
It seems that our attitudes toward premarital sex and extramarital sex have an inverse relationship. The more we tolerate sexual activity before marriage, and people “getting it out of their system,” perhaps the less tolerant we become once one makes … Continue reading
Three Outcomes after Infidelity
In my experience there are three basic patterns in the way couples reorganize themselves after an infidelity– 1. they never really get past the affair, 2. they pull themselves up by the bootstraps and let it go, or 3. they … Continue reading
Too much counseling?
Often when couples come into therapy there is individual counseling going on at the same time. Or perhaps one partner is in need of working on assertiveness skills, or wanting to understand individual issues which leads them to cheat repeatedly. … Continue reading