I heard an interesting segment on the news today about research showing that couples who shared chores equally had less sex. So what does this mean for desire and attraction? When couples are interviewed about when they feel most attracted to their partner many cite that it is when they have the opportunity to view them from afar….say across the room at a party, or interacting in a work environment where they are shining and competent. Often gaps of distance while one is traveling allows for more positive memories and anticipation of the return. So when couples are ‘joined at the hip’ sharing everything -hobbies, chores, childcare – they become more an extension of self or like roommates. So how can we share a life and still retain newness and wonder at that other person that is attractive to us? One way is to allow for the other to be different from us and even glorify the contrast – not be disappointed. Look for ways that your partner is different from you and embrace it. Allow for independence in the relationship which is scarier than walking in lockstep. It is only in the space between you that there can be attraction.