Reaching ‘critical mass’ in therapy

David Snarsch talks about this concept in his book Intimacy & Desire. which refers to that point in a relationship where anxiety and pressure converge to a point where pivotal change is inevitable.  The idea is that therapy should move the couple toward this uncomfortable point because that is where real change can happen.

Often one partner is changing and the challenge is to see whether the relationship can change and grow as well. Change disrupts a safe and static time in the relationship and pressure increases as the status quo feels more and more untenable. There comes a point where core change is necessary and change is almost always uncomfortable and anxiety producing. At ‘critical mass’ there is no turning back and partners have to either change and adapt to a new reality or the relationship stops growing. 

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