People usually nod their heads when considering the notion that the first and ‘in love’ stage of a relationship transitions to something else. Terry Real has said that this first stage is Love without Knowledge. Yikes ! How do you survive the Love With Knowledge stage to arrive at Knowledge AND Love?
This is not to minimize the first essential stage of In Love. Seasoned long term couples will say that the first years of romantic, passionate, intense fusing together is what helped them stay together through difficult times. Not everyone has that stage in their relationship and thus not much depth to tap into when challenges come. This process is beautifully described by a character in Louis de Bernières’s novel “Corelli’s Mandolin”:
“”Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it. We had roots that grew toward each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.””
Now that is a beautiful picture.