Clients often tell me that sex is better in a hotel room. It doesn’t take rocket science to understand why this may be so. A hotel room is a protected environment – no children, laundry or thoughts of chores left undone and not much else to be done in a hotel room except sleep and have sex.
Couples tell me that they know sex is important and don’t understand why it’s not happening more often. I tell them – make it a priority and reserve a time for it when you can lock your bedroom door and turn off your television and phone. Go to bed when your partner does instead of noodling on Facebook another half hour. The message from tv and movies is that sex happens spontaneously – what a myth! Women especially need space and time to become aroused – desire is not going to fall from the sky while folding the laundry! Start by simply laying side by side, hold hands…breathe and try to let the rest of the world fall away as you take in the presence of the person you care most about. Be open to the possibility of the erotic.
A client told me a story about her grandparents….When she was a child she remembered that after church and lunch that her grandparents went to their room for a few hours of quiet time on Sunday afternoon. Perhaps it was to nap but I would venture that this was an honored time for sex. Little wonder they had been married for so long!